What Does Your Table Lamp Say About You?

Before welcoming an object into your life, you must feel some base affinity with its personality. Perhaps it’s the need to reaffirm our existence through what we like and dislike. Though it’s shameful to admit it, people judge you on the objects you surround yourself with. Just think of the ends you’ll go to in order to demerit a friend who has worn a particularly unappealing necktie, or the disdain you wipe your soles on the neighbor’s ‘humorous’ doormat with. Take some time now to consider how you light your home and how you’re quite possibly being judged. What do your table lamps say about you?

Art Deco Lamp

Stop doing the Charleston for a moment, put down your cigarette holder and listen up. If you have a bedside lamp made of translucent shell depicting a tortoise, nymph or butterfly, you’re living in the past. You sculpt kiss curls into your hair every night and read Ernest Hemingway like he’s going out of fashion. Now go and rewind your gramophone before the needle starts to lag behind.

Hannah Montana Lamp

If you’re in the vicinity of a Hannah Montana lamp, it’s likely you enjoy the convenience of handy hybrid appliances, as some models come with a built in MP3 player! Why party in the USA, when you have a party in your bedside lamp instead? Hannah Montana might have grown up, but you don’t have to, so long as you have her face printed indelibly on all your belongings. It’s one of the ways you can light your home with Tesco or other stores.

Touch Lamp

Are you a robot from the future that consumes voltage as part of a balanced cyborg diet? If no, perhaps there’s an alternative way to explain why your table lamp is reducing its power at a mere gesture from your fingertips? Dimmer lights make ideal bedside lamps and living room ceiling lamps because they’re more variable than a glow-worm in the midst of an existential crisis. Even though they’ve been around for a while, using one feels daringly futuristic.

It’s unlikely that you’ll be judged as harshly as the conclusions in this article, of course. Do remember, however, that our possessions tell others about us. Be sure to make the right impression.

Images by JoelMontes and ninacoca, used under Creative Commons license